The most grim post on this blog

...that title is possibly a little bit misleading, but who cares about that? This is the most black metalish stuff I've done in a while (longer than since I started this blog), so it's actually true, which is kinda funny. What? That made no sense? Ok.

But yeah, it's been a pretty long time since I made a video of just playing guitar... but I don't know, it's partially because I was too lazy, partially because I hadn't been playing as much.

Anyway, so... first, though, I'll put the new Heave the Sun tracks here, two of them.



This one, I'm really proud of. I mean, it ended up being almost exactly the way I wanted it to be, which seems to happen a lot more often nowadays. Maybe I'm becoming a better musician. *Gasp* Anyway, this other one, on the other hand, I'm not as proud of, but it still turned out good enough to upload:



And now, the guitar video. It's improvisation, as always, and black metal. Or at least it was supposed to be, but... yeah, that kinda failed. It might also have too much distortion, but well.

A blackcore song with wah wah

That title says it all; I made a blackcore (black metal + deathcore/mathcore) song that has some wah wah stuff. I'm really proud of the song, since, like, as far as I know, there hasn't been anything exactly like it before, since wah wah even in just black metal is pretty uncommon, as it is in deathcore and mathcore (ok, it's kinda usual in some mathcore, but you get the point). :P



...and I know, that name is pretty retarded, but well. It's not intended to be the most serious song in the world. The lyrics are about, well, you can probably guess from the name, a Satan-worshipping inbred cult who live in a sort of cave.

Heave the Sun - Ritual Metamorphoses (2012)

Even though I hadn't been posting anything about doing a new Heave the Sun album, well, that's what's finished now. :P Well, an EP, I suppose. An EP that's an hour long. Yeah, it's a full-length album, okay? Although, only half of the songs are new, the rest are remastered/re-recorded versions of older songs, including a 20 minutes long version of "Feeding the Demiurge". I'm sure someone will like it. If not, well, it's okay.

01. Four-Dimensional Fractal Maze
02. Ritual of the Pegasus (by Which the Megalith Tribes Embodied Droughts)
03. Miniature Sphinx
04. Metamorphosis of the Prophet to Light
05. Violent Surgical Prophecy
06. Feeding the Demiurge

...and download: http://www.mediafire.com/?izqcbolj5b65a76

Of course, I've uploaded all of the songs to Youtube, so click the song names if you want to listen them there.

I'm pretty proud of it, especially the song "Violent Surgical Prophecy", since it kind of turned out the way I wanted it to be, instead of just something that was a fail at something and an unintentional success at something else.

If anyone has a music blog and they want to post this, please do, or if you just want to tell your friends who might like it, tell them, since, you know, that'd be nice, since I'm a selfish asshole. Yeah, wanting people to listen my music makes me a selfish asshole. That's not my logic, but everyone else's, apparently... since it makes me a "mainstream person" in some fucked up way. Oh well. :P

Idiotic idioms + DES bandcamp + new version of Burning Bush Monkey

If you want to make people look at you like "wtf bro", say these things to them. I'm sure in a few days you'll become the village potato, or if you fail at delivering the punchline (since when do idioms have punchlines?), at least you'll become the village unicorn, and that's awesome as well.

Some of these are references to my songs, so if you say them, you're supporting me as well, so you get a free turtlefuck lesson from your nearest potato. If you don't, well, that's not my fault, but yours for trying to talk to a potato and expecting it to answer. Everyone knows that potatoes don't talk, they have fance to think about; it would make them look like tomatoes if they went around speaking to random people.

"The grass is greener at the end of the rainbow."
"A potato is mightier than a sword if the sword isn't a potato, but even if it is, the potato is still mightier."
"Don't hate me if your penis is smaller than mine, hate your penis and cut it off."
"No man can turtlefuck his own knee."
"Ladies and gentlemen, look at my unicorn. My unicorn has five legs."

...I'm sure that if you say the last one in a grocery store, they'll probably throw you out and give you 10€ to hire a prostitute for some reason, since they think you're sexually frustrated and that the fifth leg is a penis, even though it's not, it's a fifth leg that grows from the neck or stomach or chest or something. And also:

Click that banner image thingy to go to the Bandcamp page. Basically, people on Facebook convinced me to register there, and so i did, and uploaded the newest album there. Of course, it's only the actual album and not the extra stuff, since one of those had that Dalek sound, and without it, it wouldn't be the same, so all those extra songs aren't there, but I'm pretty sure no one cares one bit about that, since it was just one really boring deathcore song that had the most überbrutal breakdown that is humanely possible (notice the sarcasm; read as: the most clichéd breakdown that is so lame it can't even be comprehended by the human ears) ("Extermination", which is the one with the Dalek thing; click this to listen it on Youtube if you didn't already when I first uploaded it and posted that post about it (I can't make coherent sentences today for some reason...)) and a remastered/re-whatevered version of "Burning Bush Monkey", and of "Four-Dimensional Intercourse Pentagram", but that still sounded like absolute shit, and the awfully failed "Bunny-Induced Amnesia", which had that autotune fail (but I was too lazy to change it), and an overall very, very experimental (read as: a total mess) "Flying Combat Sharks", a short and porny version of "Hyperspherification", titled "Hypersphernography", and a short, lame "Rotten Crawling Things".

So yeah, if you download it from Bandcamp, you don't miss much. And besides, why would you download it from Bandcamp when you can download it from the blog post just before this one, which I'm gonna link here just to annoy you even more? (If the first links stop working, download from the ones under those; it's just divided differently.) But yeah, if you want to download it from there, go and download it from there. :P

By the way, I uploaded the remastered/re-recorded/re-edited/re-whatevered version of "Burning Bush Monkey" to Youtube.


I'm even more proud of it now, since the whole contrast between the happy pop-like parts and dubsteppish wub wub wub parts is a lot bigger, and I think it's probably not totally impossible to make out the lyrics. Of course, it could be that it is, but well... it's okay, since that's not the most important thing about stuff. If you want to download just this song, click this.

Deformed Elephant Surgery - Pink Unicorn's Extraordinary Adventures (2012)

It's finally finished! Over two hours long, more variety than ever before, and most of all, it's the best album I've ever done. Obviously, I always say that, but it's true; I keep getting better. If you don't believe me, well, just listen the album, you won't lose anything even if you don't like it.

Download: part 1 and part 2

The album is divided in two "themes" and extra stuff which are re-whatevered versions of older songs and stuff that didn't fit into either of those two "concepts" that are on the main parts of the album.

Tracklists:

Pink Unicorn's Extraordinary Adventures at the End of the Rainbow

01. I Came, I Saw, I Followed the Chicken Across the Road
02. Black Hole Tentacles
03. Transtemporal Locomotive
04. Bepurpalusk
05. Goliath and the Black-Eyed Children
06. Goliath's Escape from Hell
07. Hyperspherification
08. Pegamower 33
09. Vacant in a State of Naked Sex
10. Pink Unicorn's Extraordinary Adventures
11. Vibrathepulture
12. My Unicorn Has Five Legs
13. Saprophytic Nymphean Masochist
14. Vagabond Swarm of Galactic Devourers

Pink Unicorn's Extraordinary Adventures in Space and Time

01. Hyperbolic Prismatorhombated Hecatonicosachoron Portal
02. Gyrating Tesseractic Megalith
03. Objects of Spatial Distortion
04. Industrial-Incubated Intestines
05. Death Ray Paroxysm
06. Cocktouch Mountain (the Hypercone of Ylem)
07. Hovering Glass Pyramid of Extinction

Extra

01. Burning Bush Monkey
02. Extermination
03. Four-Dimensional Intercourse Pentagram
04. Bunny-Induced Amnesia
05. Flying Combat Sharks
06. Hypersphernography
07. Rotten Crawling Things

If you want to listen before downloading, here's one song:



I'm really, really proud of this whole album, since, you know, it's so huge and stuff, and like I said, all the variety. I've never succeeded at doing anything as clear-sounding before either, so that's another thing I'm really proud of. Although some people might feel like the lack of distortion, brutality, etc. is me "selling out", it's obvious that it's not; if I was to "sell out", I'd start selling my music, you know. :P Which, mind you, is perfectly possible at some point in my life if I just get the chance to do that. But for now, it's not, so I don't care, and I do whatever I want, and right now that's stuff that sounds like this.

Anyway, some of the vocals are pretty damn distorted in a lot of songs, since my brother suggested that (probably didn't mean that much, but well... xD) and that's one of the reasons that I'm really proud of it. So it should go without saying that I couldn't have done with album without my brother, who gave ideas and helped me a lot by just that. \(ᴼᴗᴼ)/

Please, everyone, share this album with your friends, "like" on Facebook, and subscribe on Youtube and "like" the songs there, etc. and whatnot, post it on your blogs/whatever, and so on, since there's that music blog extinction going on, and it's making it even harder to get any publicity at all.

Extermination + thanks, Total Deathcore! :D

So, a song about Daleks, just because. Oh, and yeah, there's that "exterminate!" sound sampled in it, and I hope nobody is offended by it and no one will sue me for it, it's just a second or two in the whole thing, and it's a sort of tribute song to Daleks, since they're epic, and Doctor Who in general, since it's one of the best TV serieses ever.

Download: http://www.mediafire.com/?j4yn7kx6aakovkh



...and also, TD linked one of my songs in their Facebook ("Black Hole Tentacles"), and that got me a bunch of likes and stuff, so THANKS all of you, and especially TD, etc. and yaaayyyy. :D

Promo images for "Pink Unicorn's Extraordinary Adventures" + progress update announcement + Black Hole Tentacles

I couldn't sleep last night, and so I was naturally in an art-doing mood, and since the new album is almost done, I thought I'd do something like this just for fun. I'm not sure how these could be "promo" images in any way, since they're like this (not that I'd even completely understand the point of promo images even if they would be useful somehow...), but yeah, if you're into that kinda thing, print them or whatever, would be funny if some school suddenly had one of these in every door. Can you imagine that? :P I'd probably get sued, though, so don't do that, but you know, weeeeell...

 And also, the album is already almost two hours (1 hour and about 45 minutes), but I'm gonna do stuff until there's at least exactly two hours, and I'm trying to get it finished before Christmas, preferebly by the 21st of December, since, you know, supposedly the end of the world and all that, which would probably mean a lot more people would listen it. Anyway, I'm 99% sure it'll be done before the end of the year, and if not, well, that's going to suck, and would mean my creativity would get problematic again, which is already starting to happen today, so, ugh...

And well, I uploaded one new song to Youtube, "Black Hole Tentacles", which I'm really proud of and stuff.

R.I.P. Neil Armstrong, Mitch Lucker, and all other dead people

I only just now found out about Neil Armstrong's death, and it's been months. And I found out only after a semi-inappropiate joke about him, which I then googled and went all "OH MY GOD NO WTF AAAAAH I'M GONNA BURN IN HELL EVEN MORE".

Also, Mitch Lucker died too, which is awful. Suicide Silence was one of the first deathcore bands I ever listened to, and although at first I didn't like it, it grew on me. I learned to like Mitch's vocals, more and more, and the song "Wake Up" could be listed as one of the most awesome deathcore songs ever. Partially because of how I always mishear the lyrics, which is now an inappropiate joke as well, even though it really is how I hear them; "Why can't I cum?". If you don't think it's sad, you should sit on an erect cactus.

And everyone else who has died, R.I.P. too.

DES album progress update thingy + Saprophytic Nymphean Masochist

The album, "Pink Unicorn's Extraordinary Adventures" is not finished yet, but it won't take long anymore. That's the album art, with an epic unicorn thingy and stuff. XD A lot of the songs are as unbrutal as can be, as in less brutal than Rebecca Black, but it's going to be the best album ever, at least the best album I've ever done (at least the best DES album), once again. Or maybe not, maybe "Ubiquitous Astrolatric Oneirotheosis" will always be the best, but well. I uploaded one of the most embarrassing songs to Youtube. There's a pretty long part with rapping that has ring modulation in it, which makes it sound like the most racist and sexist thing ever, but it's not meant to be racist or sexist or anything. It's just rapping with ring modulation in it. :P

Let the facepalm orgies ensue:

Paavo Väyrynen on kaunis + Ritual of the Pegasus

So, I didn't post about this before for some reason, probably because I forgot. It's the first song I've made with lyrics in finnish (excluding bands with other people where I wasn't the only person doing lyrics) and it's about Paavo Väyrynen, a finnish politician, and how he's supposedly beautiful and handsome, etc. which is obviously a joke. Anyway, it's pop/dance/whatever, some gay stuff like that. :P No one will ever like it, but that doesn't matter.


But yeah, I also didn't post about this new Heave the Sun track, which is named "Ritual of the Pegasus (by which the Megalith Tribes Embodied Droughts)", which is sort of like, well... something.

Smunctrum + film review: Sucker Punch + "art"

Greetings, people of... tortoisopotatia? I don't even know, but I've... uh, come back from, um, doing stuff. So, the big announcement is:

You might be thinking "What? What's Smunctrum?" and well, you have all reason to be confused or annoyed or whatever. But yeah, it's a new band. For the time being, yes, this is practically another solo project, although in the future it  won't be. And you know what's awesome? That other person is Nves. Yeah, that way underrated genius. This is the first song of something that will be epic in epic amounts.

Yeah, you're probably not convinced by it being epic, but well, let me explain: this first song doesn't have anything recorded by Nves, so yeah, it's not as epic as it would be if he'd have done some actual stuff to it as well. The reason he didn't? He's busy working on the new MAXD album, which I can't wait for... hopefully it'll be finished this year... or otherwise this Smunctrum thing won't really begin until next year, but oh well.

Anyway, when you see "experimental industrial rock/nu metal", that's the only way it can be put for now. I mean, there's a very simple groovy main riff that's been used in at least a thousand rock songs, hip hop beat-like drums, screamed vocals, clean vocals, rapping... wait a second, did I just say rapping? You know, I did, and it's true, and while I'm obviously not the best at that, with some little help by Nves, I managed to make it sound tolerable by using a shitload of effects (but that's not even very noticeable!). Of course, there's only one part near the end with rapping, unless you count the "keep your hands off, I'm on fire" parts as rapping. I don't, so it's just near the end. Anyway, the synth also is very basic, as is the bass, blah blah. It's a very simple song, okay? Don't let that misguide you into thinking it wouldn't be good. You know how usually I'm all self-hating? Notice how that's all gone? It's all because of the great Nves. Do I sound like a fanboy who's been given a ticket to heaven? If I do, well, you should understand. Anyway, yeah, well, there are deathstep-influenced parts, a psytrance-influenced part, blues-influenced parts, etc. and of course, I couldn't have succeeded at doing this entirely by myself; I mean, yeah, I technically somewhat did it all by myself, but Nves gave tips and stuff, helped with the concept, etc. and in songs that will be done later, well, he'll be involved in the actual making of the songs more than just that and the little effecting (if that's a word), which I, honestly, can't wait for at all. But I'm kinda worried how messy things might get if we both do "everything", you know, but well... that's a problem that will be at that time.

So, after this huge long rant, listen the song:


...but yeah, please "like" it, comment, favorite, etc. blah blah, if you think it's nice or cool or whatever. Also, go check out Nves' youtube account and subscribe to him and stuff: http://www.youtube.com/user/NvesX He's one of the reasons I kind of like sort of like the color pink, by the way, so that makes him even more epic. Although a lot of that is because of a certain Jack as well, but whatever. :P

Oh, and one more thing, although I'm a bit late to say it. The movie "Sucker Punch" kicks ass so much, or should I say, PUNCHES ASS I'm such a kid. But yeah, I just saw it last night, and while it was as epic as I expected it to be, it was a bit underwhelming in that it lacked an epic finale, like a moment of defining the epic stuff that went on in the imaginary/fantasy world/whatever. Oh well, it was still a huge movie, really awesome in pretty much every way, and Emily Browning is so hot... ❤ Anyway, I don't understand how critics claim it's misogynist or whatever; it seemed pretty much like the opposite, even considering how it ended and had a depressing undertone and overtone with non-depressing stuff layered in between. Just think of it this way: 99% of guys, even in action/fantasy movies, don't become as epicizedly great at almost everything so fast, etc. and seriously, overanalyzing movies isn't a good thing. But well, it was an awesome movie, that's all I can say, although the dragon thing was also a bit underwhelming, it could've been so much more epic if there had been an epic battle (lol, I love epic battles...) in small scale as well as the big scale, as there usually are in fantasy films. But you know, I'm not complaining. I wouldn't complain about a movie unless it really sucked gotta avoid pun gotta avoid pun gotta avoid pun ass, since everyone has their own taste.

I should've said "two more things", but since that "one more thing" was a reference to a repeated line in that movie, you know... anyway, so, yeah, this blog post won't end here:

I did this "abstract art" thing, although it's really crappy and stuff, but well. Lick it, it's a thumbnail.

Heave the Sun - Four-Dimensional Fractal Maze (newer version)

Well, I made this one a bit longer and better. Now I'm really proud of it, and I hope people like it. But please, put it to HD so it'll sound a lot better.

Heave the Sun - Elysium and Inferno (2012)

I hadn't really posted anything about doing this, but yeah, two new full-length Heave the Sun albums. How do I do stuff so fast? Well, there's a very simple explanation to why these two were finished so soon after the first album and the DES album that just happened to get finished around the same time; "Inferno" was already 75% done by the time I finished "Empyreal Obtenebration", like some people might know, although I'm not sure how they could know that. Anyway, "Elysium" pretty much came in one huge surge of inspiration. But they're so different that it'd feel wrong to clump all songs together on the same album ("Elysium" is folk rock/prog metal/post-rock or something like that, "Inferno" is symphonic/industrial black/death metal) so... this is the best way to do it, I think.

ELYSIUM

Track list:
01. Metamorphosis of the Prophet to Light
02. Kaleidoscopic Divine Coitus
03. Inhale the Abyss
04. Consumption of the Void
05. Nebular Immersion of the Metaphysical Entities

Length: 30:55 minutes

INFERNO

Track list:
01. Womb of Teeth
02. Tree of Entrails
03. Scissor Defloration
04. Abandoned Slaughterhouse as a Playground for Mutilated Children
05. Whorehouse Anatomist's Asphyxiation before the Sculpture of Filth
06. Tongue of Perdition
07. Stygian Fragrance of the Plague

Length: 31:56 minutes

DOWNLOAD both albums

I hope you like them, since I'm really proud of how both albums turned out! :D

GOOD MORNING MANSON FAMILY!!!

I thought I'd do this, because in the TV show Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, the guy always yells "GOOD MORNING [name] FAMILY!!!", and well... you know, Manson family... so, I googled "good morning Manson family", found nothing, and... you know, I just had to.

I don't own any of the photos that were used, all are on the first pages on Google when searching "Charles Manson", "Charles Manson house", "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" and "open mouth", and I'm not trying to offend anyone by the way I used them, and it's only for entertainment/fun/whatever, and I don't get any money from using them and making this gif, etc. etc. etc. so don't sue me.

God pointed at me and said 'drop the bass'

...what? You think He pointed at me? No, no, He pointed at George W. Bush. And yeah, I just have to post this as a separate post and not just put it into the last one. Why? Because I think it's funny, and I'm selfish. So, without further ado,

Yep, I had to do that, just because... you know... I don't know, I'm amazed about how funny sampling Bush's centuries a few years old speeches in songs can be. Even if he hasn't been the president there for a while, and about when I started making music, that was pretty much when Obama got an erection elected. So, yes, in a way, it's super-lame to sample Bush's speeches, but I mean, he was a bit odd and funny, not really the kind of guy you'd expect to be a president, and that won't go away just because he's not in charge anymore. And in case you didn't know, this is the song, and I'm really satisfied with how it ended up being:
If only everything I did could be so epic... but for some reason, I only manage to make one or two good songs per album. Someday, I'll do a compilation of all the best songs I've done. Am I selfish today? Yes, oh yes, I'm so selfish that I'm typing like a homosexual closet sadomasochist. (No offence to homosexual closet sadomasochists intended).

And I think it'd finally be a good time to post this thing I did last year. Yeah, it's pretty much been exactly a year since I made it. Why did I never post it anywhere? Well, there's a good reason; I expected to use it somewhere, as an album cover or something... especially one certain album, but since that probably won't ever be made, it's pretty much useless to keep this hidden somewhere and just, you know, never put it online.

...if it's not obvious, it's some kind of man thingy. I don't know why he's like that, or what he is, but that doesn't matter. :P

Deformed Elephant Surgery - Neurovasculoferous Exoskeletal Teratomorphoitis (2012)

Yep, I just finished the new Deformed Elephant Surgery album. It's pretty much a sort of... well, a few new songs, a few remastered older ones, etc. and I'm not really proud of how it all fits together, but you know... it's better to have a shitload of stuff for a full-length than a few good songs for an EP. That's what I think, at least, when doing stuff. Anyway... so, yeah.

Track list:
01. Diabolical Corpse Predator (Apocalypse Edit)
02. Burning Bush Monkey
03. Mutated Space Dog Priapism
04. Lungfucked to Life
05. Celestial Alignment in Remembrance of the Monumental Disfiguration
06. The Helioambulist
07. Molest Like a Walrus
08. Chug Chug Wub Wub (Extended)
09. Phallus Mortis: Tribulation of the Headless Mortician
10. Sandalphon's Hieroincarnation Through Arterioparasitic Neurovascularization
11. Manmade Hypersexual Abomination
12. Diabolical Corpse Predator (Orchestral)
13. Mutation (Orchestral)

Download by clicking this tiny little text here. It's 320 kbps, obviously, if that's not obvious for everyone already.

You can listen a few songs on Youtube:
Burning Bush Monkey
Chug Chug Wub Wub (Extended)
Molest Like a Walrus

Molest like a walrus

Well, yeah, that's the name of a song I did... it's the gayest thing ever. :P The new Deformed Elephant Surgery album is gonna be gayer than the earlier ones, but also better. Gayness isn't a way to determine badness, obviously, when I say "it sounds gay" I mean it literally, it sounds like homosexuality. It's like 99% clean vocals and... well, listen it and you'll know. :P


Fixed kinda like semi-typos... or weirdness, mistakes, whatever they're called. The "someday" thing... o.O

CHUG CHUG WUB WUB + some sorta update thingy

I should probably have posted this here, since it seems like only very few people listen it otherwise... not that any more would if I post it here. Anyway, yeah, it's just an extended version of the song "Chug Chug Wub Wub", some remastering and stuff (mostly making it heavier/more brutal/whatever) and mostly re-recorded vocals with new lyrics that aren't as ridiculous and stupid.


Also, there's gonna be a new Deformed Elephant Surgery album as soon as I get enough inspiration to do a few more new songs; right now, I've done two that are completely new, one that was on the split with Skull Incision (you can download it here) and this one, a remastered version of "Diabolical Corpse Predator" and an orchestral version of "Mutation", which isn't necessarily finished yet... if I'd just manage to make it epic instead of calming, that'd be awesome but... you know, it's hard to do something epic from something that isn't epic without changing it too much to be considered the same thing. :P

But yeah, probably at least 3 more new songs and something, then it'll be done.

Potato energy

I made a new video (two, actually, but I updated the "My penis is 63 inches" post with the video of that) and it's about potatoes again. Well, one potato, but it's like about all potatoes.

Heave the Sun - Empyreal Obtenebration

Download: http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?jecoj7wc5bs3m5m
http://www.mediafire.com/?8oit90nu2fprsut

Track list:
01. Empyreal Obtenebration [X]
02. Feeding the Demiurge [X]
03. Otherworldly Reinvigoration [X]
04. March Across the Corpse Meadows [X]
05. Four-Dimensional Fractal Maze [X]
06. Living Shadows of Abraxas [X]
07. Venom of the Seraphim [X]

The whole album is 1 hour and 7 minutes long. (Click the things next to song names to listen on Youtube)

I'm really proud of the whole album, although some of the clean vocals could be better... but that's because I got a bit lazy and wanted to put this album for people to listen as soon as possible. That's the same thing that happens every goddamn time I make any album; the one night when I don't sleep and in the morning I'm fucking tired, then I decide "oh well it's finished, no one will notice that a few parts are hastily done" and then I regret it. Anyway, it's not like I'd regret already uploading this much, just that tiny bit about the vocals in a few of the tracks. But that's just a tiny little flaw which doesn't really bother me, so if it bothers anyone who listens, well, there's nothing you could do to fix it. :P But yeah, the clean vocals especially may need a bit getting used to if you're strictly a metalhead, since... well, you'll hear. I'm not gonna start explaining anything about my vocals or anything else in details, because I'm not that selfish... although like I said, I'm proud of the whole album; vocals included. Especially two of the songs ("Feeding the Demiurge" and "Venom of the Seraphim") are awesome in my own opinion. Sure, I could've made them better if I'd have spent more time mastering and stuff like that, but that's annoying and it's not meant to be perfectly clean; I don't want to be accused of overproductiveness or anything like that. Not that it'd be even near... but you know what I mean. Since there's a lot of non-metal stuff (especially in "Feeding the Demiurge"), it might be a bit disappointing to people who only like metal and are expecting something a lot heavier. If you're one of those people, well, this album isn't for you, although some of the songs are entirely death metal-rooted if that's an appropiate thing to say, since I started all of them as psychedelic ambient folk or whatever, and then just "expanded" them. Anyhow, you're probably not gonna like it, but if you do, go to "like" on Facebook, please.  It'd mean a lot to me to see if anyone actually enjoys this stuff.

If you're wondering about what language I'm singing: english. It's just that I can't pronounce for shit... so it sounds weird. :P Well, of course it's partially intentional, since the "style" of the vocals is what it is, which easily makes things hard to understand. But yeah, it's all in english.

My penis is 63 inches.

Well, I had already done an image of the same "subject" before, but it sucked and was completely retarded (I didn't post it in this blog at all). So anyway, while I was discussing batman-shaped penis tumors with some random guy, I thought about doing a new picture about this. He suggested making flyers of it, but I don't have a printer so that's just a tiny obstacle on the way to do that. Anyway, I did a kind of one-panel comic thingy or whatever you'd call it, and completely failed the guy's fist of manliness. For obligatory selfishness, I have to claim that the result is amazing.

It's a thumbnail, lick it!

And now I made a video of this.

Reversing questions

So, I was kinda half-trolling on Omegle (in the question thingy), asking people these things, and responses are pretty hilarious. I didn't save any logs, but the questions were stuff like this. Although not only these ones, and not exactly the same ones (at least not all, probably) but you know. Stuff like this.

Instead of asking "do you like sex?" (I know you're all perverts who like sex), I'll ask you: Does sex like you? •ᴗ•
 

Instead of asking "do you hate God?" (I know you're all atheists who hate God), I'll ask you: Does God hate you? •ᴗ•

Instead of asking "do you know where Finland is?" (I know you're all stupid americans who don't know where Finland is), I'll ask you: Does Finland know where you are? •ᴗ•

Instead of asking "do you play videogames?" (I know you're all nerds who play videogames), I'll ask you: Do videogames play you? •ᴗ•

Instead of asking "do you masturbate to teletubbies?" (I know you're all weirdoes who masturbate to teletubbies), I'll ask you: Do teletubbies masturbate to you? •ᴗ•

Instead of asking "do you hate dubstep?" (I know you're all close-minded haters who hate dubstep), I'll ask you: Does dubstep hate you? •ᴗ•

Instead of asking "do you support racism?" (I know you're all racists who support racism), I'll ask you: Does racism support you? •ᴗ•

Instead of asking "do you know who George W Bush is?" (I know you all know who George W Bush is), I'll ask you: Does George W Bush know who you are? •ᴗ•

Jamppa, my pet cat who died

The new Deformed Elephant Surgery album, "Ubiquitous Astrolatric Oneirotheosis"

Well, so I finished doing the new album, and thought "Ubiquitous Astrolatric Oneirotheosis" was a fitting name for it, googled it, found nothing... and that's how it ended up being that. Anyway, I uploaded a few of the songs on Youtube:


And you probably want to download the whole album if you like those songs, and that's what this link is here for:

DOWNLOAD 
(along with "The Transdimensional Cataclysm")

I also did album art, which you already saw on those videos, but it won't hurt to put it here as well so you can see the whole thing in full size, although it's also included in the download, but well.

Deformed Elephant Surgery new album title... ugh.

Yeah, I'm not sure if it'll be "Astral Contiguity". I mean, it sounded retarded in the first place, and now that I've been doing more and more songs, it just doesn't seem really fitting at all. So, it's gonna be something else. I have no idea what yet... but well. :P

The sand was pulled

Apparently, now my name is Chuck Norris.

Easy guide on how to name yourself Chuck Norris!

1) Go to Google Translate.
2) Change the languages to english > chinese.
3) Put this there: "My name is not Chuck Norris."
4) Copy the result and put it from chinese > english.
5) Result is "My name is Chuck Norris."

Skinned alive and crucified? + Deformed Elephant Surgery update

For some reason, people being skinned alive is really disturbing. I mean, maybe it's because their skin gets cut off and it'd hurt like hell, or maybe it's because humans don't look nearly as normal without skin. Anyway, my point is that I googled "skinned alive and crucified" just to see if it's been used anywhere, and seems that that actually happened to some dude. Well, a bible dude, so it's pretty understandable, no one liked those guys back then, and as far as I know, they all were executed... pretty horrible. And no, I'm not saying that I like christianity, because I don't, but killing christians is wrong. It's killing people, and if you kill people, you're a shitty person. ...why did I start rambling about religion? My point was that some Bartholomew guy got skinned alive and crucified, or at least some people think that's how he died. I can't even imagine how much that'd hurt. Ouch...

ANYWAY, so I thought about it for a second and realized something. If that was a method for torture/execution over thousand years ago... that means people back then were more cruel than they're now. I mean, of course there are some people who are still big assholes and stuff. People torture each other in wars, etc. but not for doing whatever he did. I'm not sure what he did, but that's beside the point. He wasn't a criminal (I think?) and some people did that to him? Nowdays no one does that to anyone, even if they raped babies and ate them. Those kinds of people would deserve that, though... child molesters are seriously disgusting. But that's just my opinion.

...and I started rambling again. What I was trying to say was that if you look at the world now and into the history, you'll notice that it's not as bad as it used to be. Sure, there still are wars, there still are sick bastards, there still are pushy religious people, there still are bronies, there still are murderers... but still.

Now to my next point:

It's a pretty popular subject in stuff, people getting skinned alive, I think. The only things I can think of right now is a band named "Skinned Alive" and an episode of X Files, but you probably know thousands of other things. BLATANT SELF-PROMOTION TIME: I've made a song named "Skinned Alive and Fed to Priests". So, people apparently like others being skinned alive in fiction. I think it's cool too. It just is an interesting subject, both historically and for its shockiness, it's an easy way to make a "OH MY GOD THAT'S GOTTA HURT" thing. That leads to the conclusion that pineapples taste good but are hard to eat.

...

...huh? Oh, right. I wasn't talking about pineapples.

Also, a Deformed Elephant Surgery update thingy: there won't be any guest vocals by that one guy who I already announced would be doing guest vocals. Unless he somehow remembers/has enough time to record something... :< It's a very unlikely thing to happen now, since he's a really busy person, which is why I understand perfectly. Also, the new album is almost finished, I think. I'm not sure if I'll do one or two more songs (I'd like to, but I have a feeling no one has enough patience to wait a few more weeks...). So I'm probably gonna just do a few changes to the mostly finished songs and then upload it to Mediafire. I've done a few potential candidates for album art, tell me what's the best (if anyone ever even sees this...). They're all thumbnails, so click them to see bigger...

...myself, I think the first one is probably the best, but I'm not sure. Anyway, um... the album title is "Astral Contiguity", like you 99% likely already noticed. Yeah, I know, it's pretty lame, but whatever. I like stuff that's somehow related to things like that. Lyrics aren't as much like that than on the last two albums, though... erm, I'll get a lot of shit down my neck for some song titles, I'm pretty sure of that. :P But hey, I'm used to that, even though it still hurts when people take everything too seriously and think like "oh, so you have like a garden gnome fetish"... luckily no one has ever thought that way, at least not enough to complain about it to me. I don't have a garden gnome fetish, or anything else like that. There aren't as many clean vocals, by the way. So if you didn't like my retarded emo-sounding faggot whining, you might like the new album more. Juuuuuuuuuust kidding, there's more of that than ever before. \(ᴼᴗᴼ)/

I just uploaded one finished song that's gonna be on the new album, please listen:

A superhero named Man + Man in Egoboo

You know when so many superheroes have names with "man" in them? Well, think of the most epic superhero ever... Man. Yeah, just man. A superhero named Man. Nothing else in his name, just pure manly manliness of men. He'd have supermegastrength, a crime-preventing kit (rapist remover, drug dealer detector, murderer mutilator, etc.) and be muscular, wear a fur hat, leather pants and a denim jacket, have a hairy chest and stuff. Then he'd exclaim his manliness in every possible situation, for example when beating a rapist to death, he'd scream "Look at me and you see a MAN!!!" or when chasing a murderer, "MEN FIGHT TO DEATH IN AN HONEST BATTLE!!!"

I once made an NPC like that for a town in Egoboo, but kinda stopped because of bugs and stuff like that. It's the reason why I never finish anything... then I made a playable Man, but never posted that because I still haven't finished it. Yeah, I know, I'm way too lazy... in any case, here's what that Man looked like:

Yeah, that's supposed to be a fur hat even though it looks like hair... anyway, um, yeah, no shirt but just suspenders. That was supposed to indicate confidence or something. You know, he's not embarrassed of wearing even slight homosexuality-suggesting clothes (or rapist-suggesting?) because he's so manly that his enormous manliness makes all men look like little girls. Or something. Basically, he didn't do anything else than say things like "I'm Man and I'm very manly" and "I'm wearing tight leatherpants", etc...

History has never been as sexy! ...wait, what?

Well, this is pretty old. Just a few photos from google images with speech bubbles added, put together to make a comic... with the expection of the third panel, that obviously is a bit edited by myself. :P Click for full size.

DISCLAIMER: This is not meant to offend anyone. Well, it'd likely offend Neo-Nazis, so I guess it's fine if that's who it offends...

Pregnancy

Well, I was bored and thought this would be funny (WARNING!!! Might cause epileptic seizures and/or facepalms:

...so yeah, it's not exactly long or anything, but I think it ended up pretty cool.

I did album art for MAXD's new album! :D

The title says it all, basically. The great experimental band, MAXD, wanted me to do album art for their new album, "Dégoûtant Fantasme". I haven't listened the album completely, but from what I've heard so far, it sounds pretty epic (although I'm not sure if it's as good as their last album, to be honest...)

But anyway, to the album art: I think it ended up being quite cool in my own opinion, and since they seemed to like it and actually used it... \o/ btw, I did not make the logo.

...so yeah, they wanted something "perverted and dark", and this is what it ended up being like. In case it isn't obvious what it's supposed to be, it's a decaying corpse. The pose is supposed to indicate that someone has done some postmortem raping and mutilating.

LET THE EPIC FLOW INTO YOU!!!! \(ᴼᴗᴼ)/

It was pretty trollious.

A garden gnome having sex with a rubber duck.

So, I had been using garden gnomes and rubber ducks for jokes for quite a while, and today I finally had the inspiration to... well, make some rubber duck + garden gnome art. The result:

It's a thumbnail, click it. The text is just to make it even more retarded. :P

Oh, and also, I uploaded it to imageshack just because: http://img100.imageshack.us/img100/2003/gardengnomefuckingaduck.jpg